If you are someone who has a low view of themselves, doesn't have much good to say, finds it hard to list the positives, you are not alone! In my practice I have often observed it to show up as harsh self-criticism, persistent self-doubt, and a discouraging internal monologue. The good news is that I have seen first hand the ways that therapy helps in overcoming these challenging feelings.
Defining Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem revolves around a persistent feeling of inadequacy or a lack of self-worth. This can be influenced by past experiences, critical social relationships, or persistent challenging life events. People with low self-esteem often struggle with accepting their own successes and may habitually compare themselves unfavourably to others. What's important to realise is the defining characteristic of low self-esteem isn't just about feeling bad about yourself; it's primarily about valuing yourself less than you value others.
In some contexts, such as competitive environments, having a critical eye on one's performance could potentially lead to improvement. I have often heard people talk about the way this critical part of themselves has helped them get to where they are today. However, more commonly, continual negative self-assessment actually gets in the way of you being the person you want to be and the type of life you want to live.
Overcoming low self-esteem
It's important to say that this kind of work can be incredibly rewarding but go gentle with yourself, It is a gradual process that requires patience, self-awareness, and intentional actions. Here are five practical ways that can help guide you on your journey to boost self-esteem:
1. Practice Self-Compassion
Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding as you would offer a good friend. This can be particularly effective in managing self-critical thoughts. Begin by recognising moments of self-judgment and consciously replacing them with more compassionate responses. Consider what you would say to a friend in a similar situation and apply those words to yourself.
2. Set Achievable Goals
Setting and achieving personal goals can significantly boost your self-esteem as it helps to see yourself as capable and competent. Start with small, attainable goals to build a sense of accomplishment. As you meet these goals, your confidence to tackle larger challenges will grow, reinforcing a positive self-image.
3. Engage in Physical Activity
Exercise is not only good for physical health but also for mental well-being. Regular physical activity can increase self-esteem by releasing endorphins, improving body image, and providing a sense of achievement. Find an activity you enjoy, whether it’s yoga, walking, or being part of a sports team, which can also offer social benefits.
4. Surround Yourself with Positive Influences
The people around you can significantly impact your self-esteem. Surround yourself with supportive family and friends who uplift you and affirm your worth. Conversely, limit time spent with individuals who tend to be critical or negative, as this can further feed into low self-esteem.
5. Reflect on Positives
It can be easy to dwell on negatives and overlook your strengths when you have low self-esteem. Allocate some time daily to reflect on things you’ve done well. This could be in the form of a gratitude journal where you record accomplishments, moments of joy, and aspects of yourself or your life that you’re grateful for. This practice can shift your focus from what you think you lack to appreciating what you have.
